Humor Politics

The King who wanted it all

Once upon a time, there was a king named Antonio I. He ruled over a kingdom as far as the eye could see, and beyond. 743 million people lived on his lands. It wasn’t easy ruling a Kingdom this big, especially because it was so divers. Every region had its own customs and culture People even spoke several languages, 24 in total! It is easier to herd a flock of cats than to rule a Kingdom this complex.

Luckily, the King had a large Palace. Great walls would keep at bay hostile forces. From this Palace, and the offices in his Capital City, he sent out decree after decree, always trying to change things to improve life of his subjects. Or so he thought.

What the King didn’t realize, was that his People were suffering. His advisors had mentioned it some times, and the media all reported on it. But the message just didn’t get through. When someone mentioned the people had no bread to eat, his spouse suggested the people should just eat cake. But there was no cake either.

The economy had been bad for a few years, and taxes had been going up. And up. And up. Every city had to balance the books, by asking their citizens to pay up. Provinces, too, had to increase there tith, to keep their bank accounts out of the red. Countries had been raising taxes, not only on income and assets, but also on every transaction made. If you’d buy an apple, you’d pay taxes. If you bought a carriage, you’d pay taxes.

Not that many people would still by a carriage, because year after year, people were fired. And with less people working, the amount of taxes gained dropped, which lead to higher rates. Already, in many parts of the Kingdom, people would have to give half their earnings to the authorities. More even.

People were not happy about that.


But People were also not very happy about the King. “Antonio I just sits in his office coming up with rules, without knowing how the real world works”, they sometimes complained. One Island even declared they didn’t want to be part of the Kingdom anymore, and declared their Independance. Others looked at this, and worried that this would mean they’d have to pay more to compensate the lost income, while contemplating their own departure. People began protesting. Demanding change. Demanding sovereignity.

It was at this time, that the King looked upon his Capital and realized he needed more money. “My budget is only 140 billion goldpieces a year!”, Anotnio I said. “Especially now the Islanders will leave, I will need more gold. 240 billion goldpieces, at least”. But how to get this extra gold? “I know! I will just come up with a tax, then the gold will flow in freely”, he said.

Of course, this would have consequences: life would become more expensive. Sure, he decided he’d get the money from the rich, but they obviously didn’t like the plan. Also, some worried this might hurt the willingness of the rich to buy goods, which would mean people would lose the job.


Surely, such a thing would never happen in real life, right? Which King would further alienate his people, struggling to make ends meet, by introducing yet ANOTHER tax? Make no mistake, the King exists. His name is Antonio Tajani, European Parliament president.

Real life… sometimes you cannot make it up…

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