Why some intended help can hurt

Pennies (Photo:

When I was just starting to build this website, I spent quite a bit of time trying to find the right theme. I think I tried at least 20 of them, before finally settling for this one. During my search, I asked a few people on Facebook for suggestions on how to find a good free theme. Some answers were helpful, others were intended to be helpful, but actually hurtful. In this article, I will explain WHY these answers are hurtful.


So what were those hurtful suggestions? It was when people suggested I should “just” buy a premium template, because they are cheap. For US$ 50, I’d have an amazing template. But I could also get one for US$ 35 or maybe even US$ 10.

Now don’t get me wrong. I understand how these people intend to help. But if someone posts a question asking for assistance finding a FREE template, suggesting they should buy one is NOT the right answer.

First, it is literally not an answer to the question. But that is not the hurtful bit. The hurtful bit comes when they say that it’s better to just buy a template, because otherwise you spend hours looking for one. So it is cheaper to buy.

Totally true. Except that there is a condition to be met: you need to have a possibility to earn more during those hours saved by buying. Oh, and you need to have money in the first place.

Utility bill or template

People who suggest that you “just buy” something assume you have this money laying around. But not everybody does. For some people, it is not a choice between spending time or money, where both are available. For some people, there is NO choice, because they simply haven’t got the cash. Or perhaps they DO have money but are forced to chose to spend it on other frivolous things, like the utility bill, health care or even groceries.

Don’t be inconsiderate

So please, don’t be rude. When someone asks for help finding something free, help them find something free. Don’t embarrass them by confronting them -once again- with their poor financial situation. Don’t confront them with a world which isn’t theirs, a world where one can simply throw a few tenners around. Please, don’t be rude. Either help, or remain quiet.

It’s painful enough as it is when you cannot keep up with the Joneses’….


  • March 22, 2017 - 7:59 am | Permalink

    I believe there are so many great themes that are available free of cost. Money is not always a factor to buy good stuff. Sometimes you need to spend some time searching for the right thing.

  • March 22, 2017 - 11:46 am | Permalink

    It all boils down to being mindful…watching how we speak soon we don’t send the right message the wrong way

  • March 22, 2017 - 11:49 am | Permalink

    This is a really thought provoking article. We should all really consider others and their feelings a bit more!

  • March 22, 2017 - 2:55 pm | Permalink

    This was an awesome text, I have to say. I really like your blog for its content!

  • March 23, 2017 - 10:06 pm | Permalink

    The wrong answer to a well-understood question is the universal situation 😉

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