Confused: The inverse relation between success and fucks given

A few days ago, I wrote about this book written by Mark Manson, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. Since, I’ve been thinking about the things Manson says. And the more I let the concepts sink in, the more confused I get.


The simple bit is recognizing the truth in his words. When I look back at my career, I can come up with numerous examples where I failed in doing something I really, really, REALLY, wanted to succeed in. And there’s also examples of me being very succesful, despite the fact I couldn’t care less about it. The more I care about whatever it is I am trying to do, the more pressure comes into play. And the more likely I am, apparently, to let stress have its way. On the other hand, when I don’t give a darn, I am relaxed, and effective.

confusing stuff

She doesn’t know what to do either… (Photo: NDE,


So far, so good. Noticing the inverse relation between “Fucks given” and “Success” is simple enough. But the next step is where the confusion kicks in. Because when you know something, you need to act upon it, right? But what on earth am I supposed to do with this? There’s things I care about, a lot, but because I care too much, I am not as successful as I would like. So the straightforward thing would be to care less about it. But if I care less about it, well… uh…then I care less about it. So the success doesn’t feel like a success. Not a cause for celebration, but a Moment of Meh. (MoM, ©2017).

And then there’s the things I am successful with, but they all result in MoM. So I should care more about those. Which would lead to less successes.

The endresult would be a whole bunch of stuff I kinda-care about and which are, to some extend, not complete failures.

That really doesn’t sound like a good legacy to leave behind…

What would you do?



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