Life

Chosing the Path of the Weakling (4) – Back to work

boring-cubicles-office

Boring office (Photo: Pixabay)

Today, I went back to work. Strangely enough, from the moment I sent the mail, and phoned in to say I was coming back, my stomach has been rather restless. As I got in the car, I felt nauseous. And when I entered the office, I felt sick again.

This isn’t just a flu… I walked through the hallways and bumped into a collegue who, very friendly, asked me how I was doing. He had heard I was sick and thought that perhaps it was because I had taken too much upon myself. Quite a shock to hear this, especially considering I didn’t even realize the guy had even noticed me before.

I met with some clients, and felt some energy return to my body. Rejuvenated, kinda. Slightly. But when back, doing the aftermath of the meeting, I felt empty again.

Am I working the right job?

The rest of the day, I jumped the hoops and did my tricks. But my mind was elsewhere. Is this actually the job for me? It has to be! I started it a few years ago with so much enthusiasm and joy. I had so much fun stuff to do.

And yes, I love doing what I do best.

But…on the other hand…

we’re now 3 minor reorganizations further down the line. My tasks have been rearranged several times, and every time I lost one of the small tasks that actually energize me. They got replaced, though, by other stuff. Stuff which is costing me energy. Now that I look at my job, I realize that I’d never apply for the job I have now. I work too long, and too hard. I do stuff I don’t like, while the fun stuff seems to be dwindling.

But where am I to go? I am nearing my 40th birthday and I’ve already made a few career switches in the past. I’ve been working in the Finance Department, I’ve been doing marketing. I’ve even spent a time developing websites for people. None of these jobs really “stuck”. None appealed to who I am, inside, in my core.

passion-flower

Passion Flower (Photo: Pixabay)

Career Coaches: find your passion

Career Coaches have an easy job. All they have to do is tell their clients to think about their passion. What gives you energy? What would you do even if you got no pay? Yeah. I’ve gone through a coaching process as well. And I know exactly what I like, and do not like. But there’s no jobs which match that profile. And being an entrepreneur? Hell no, that ain’t me. I suck at acquisition and sales. So now what…?

 

 

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